Soundtrack: Erin McKeown - Grand
My dream last night:
I dreamt about Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. You know the one. The mad carnivore who likes to eat things that no one else would dream about.
Well in a shock move, he appeared in my dream last night to cook me a vegetarian feast. Basically he cooked lots of veg and nuts that he found whilst foraging, in goose fat. He insisted that I was ok to eat goose fat as a vegetarian, as it was only for flavour and I wasn't really eating meat. And the platter tasted magnificent. The carrots were a little grainy, but the wild mushrooms were to die for. And the swede... well, it was certainly enhanced by the goose fat.
Everything was going just yummily, until I bit into a roast chestnut and found it was a bit squidgy. I turned to Hugh and said 'I'm not sure, it's more squidgy than the last time I ate a roast chestnut'. He took the chestnut from me and laughed. 'That's because it's infested with maggots my dear. But don't worry - that's good! If maggots are eating it, that means it's ripe and tasy!'.