Thursday, August 04, 2005

modern technology has a lot to answer for

Soundtrack: Squeeze


The tube was eerily quiet this morning. It's 2 and 4weeks since 'the attacks', and it actually took all my strength not to get two buses to work, rather than the tube. But I was running late, and reasoned with myself that I was being daft, so took the tube. My, was it quiet. Seats all the way to Clapham North. By Stockwell I had 6 empty seats around me - I don't even remember it being that quiet when I worked over Christmas! The emptiness made me feel even more nervous.


~~~~~~~~~~~

Modern technology has a lot to answer for, part 1:

I've noticed that I'm losing the ability to scan read. If I'm on the computer, and looking for a certain word, I ctrl+F, type the word in, and all the hard work has been done for me.
I was glancing through a paper document yesterday, and found my eye glazed over. The words muddled together and blurred. I could not find the word I was looking for. I ctrl+Fd in my head, and then realised I wasn't at a computer. And I've noticed myself doing this more and more when I'm reading something on paper...


Modern technology has a lot to answer for, part 2:

While researching something for work, I stumbled upon Tony Hawks' website. Not Tony Hawks the skateboarder, but Tony Hawks the comedian.

There was the funniest section on his website. He receives at least an email a day from a kid confusing him for the skateboarder, and there's an inspired 'Skatemail' section where he replies to the emails. Texting has a lot to answer, as you'll realise from the highlights here:

Bout ye big guy!!!!! Tone, I'm like ur bigest fan.i'm 9yrs old and bin sk8ing for like 2 yearsur amazing man, u rock dude i am your biggestt fan i gotta go luv will

Will,
We should hook up some time. You seem exactly my type of guy. It would be nice to sit down over a sherry and discuss Proust, listen to poetry and do the odd 'ollie' if the fancy takes us.
I'll be in touch.
PossiblyTH


hows the skateboarding doinur work is very gud and i bet the pay is gud tou should do more thing with bam u to r greatcan i have ur autograph pleaseseana budding fan


Sean,
What does that mean? Budding fan? I'm not interested in budding fans. I only want contact with people who have got all their budding out of the way and are ready to be fully fledged, committed fans.
Please get in touch after you've successfully budded. (Best done in a dark room with a glass of water standing by.)TH


Tony what was your first ever trick you did and what was your favourite trick you ever did?Liam

Liam,
I've stopped turning tricks since they cleaned things up around Kings Cross. You probably wouldn't want to know what the trick was. TH



Hi Tony I hope you are well.My name is Max and I come from west sussex in the U.K and I was wandering if I could ask you about dropping in.I wanted to ask you about dropping in to minni ramps because I feel scared of accidentally baling and hitting my head or back very hard. Is it ok if you could add some dropping in tips to your web site.


Max
I shall be dropping in later today. So put the kettle on.
Tony Hawks



Dear TonyI think you are cool, and my sister does too. Would you teach me some tricks? I really want to become a good skateboarder. How do you make a half-pipe? How old were you when you started skateing? How old were you when you learned how to do a kick flip? Do you ever come to Meigs County, Ohio to a skate park called Skatetopia? If so, would you let me know the next time you plan on being there.Your biggest fan,DiJaun

DiJaun,
My, what a lot of questions. For answers, see below.
Q: Would you teach me some tricks? A: NoQ: How do you make a half-pipe? A: Take a whole pipe and cut it down the middle.
Q: How old were you when you started skateing? A: None of your business
Q: How old were you when you learned how to do a kick flip? A: I'm not telling you.
Q: Do you ever come to Meigs County, Ohio to a skate park called Skatetopia? A: No.
Q: If so, would you let me know the next time you plan on being there. A: You can rest assured, I shan't be there.
Now, there you are. Still like me? I doubt it.TH


Absolute genius.

1 comment:

  1. People get confused because of the "Tony Hawk's Pro Skater" games, and think his name is Tony Hawks, when really, it's just Tony Hawk.

    These kids aren't very big fans at all.

    ReplyDelete