Ex-jumper

Last week I had to frog the body of my jumper. I buggered up the waist decreases and there was loads of puckering at the back. But it's ok, this jumper is going to be perfect. I knit the body again. 10 inches later, it's a perfect fit along the waist and back.

But wait...

What's this?

This, my friends, is what can only be described as a flap of the highest order. Several inches of knitted wasteland determined to make me look like I have wings. It's unflattering, it's ugly, it's there and no amount of pretending it isn't will make it go away.

Let me tell you something.

I DIDN'T CHECK GAUGE.

I have to knit the jumper again. For the third time. I have to change my needles completely. Only now, after 2 weeks and 2 attempts, have I swatched and worked out my gauge. I'm a bloody idiot.

It'll be worth it, right?

So for now, this jumper is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late jumper. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-jumper.